6 Signs You Are Being Verbally Abused

Verbal abuse takes many forms: from loud rants to quiet comments; from obvious put-downs to not-so-obvious remarks that undermine the partner. What all the methods have in common is the need to control, to be superior, to avoid taking personal responsibility, and to mask or deny failures.

6 Signs You Are Being Verbally Abused


you feel you just can’t win. No matter how carefully or kindly you try to work out a problem, your partner says things that make you feel like you’re in the wrong.


Your self-esteem and self-confidence are shot. Your partner isn’t your greatest fan but your greatest critic. He often tells you that his comments are “for your own good.”


When you say he has hurt your feelings your partner, When you point out that he has said something inappropriate or hurtful, he accuses you of trying to make him look bad. You notice that he rarely takes responsibility for his part of a problem. Somehow he manages to convince himself and even you that anything that goes wrong is your fault.


You often are the brunt of jokes that make you feel bad. The guy who is fun and fun-loving outside the family unleashes a more vicious or undermining humor inside. Other people don’t believe you that the guy they know is so different from what you experience. Like Marilyn, you find yourself constantly questioning yourself.


You have to walk on eggshells at home. Your home isn’t a sanctuary for you and your kids. It is the place where you are most afraid and embarrassed. You and the kids stay away as much as you can. When you are there with your partner, you all do everything you can to make sure nothing happens that could set him off.

If you’re not very careful, the verbal abuse escalates to physical altercations. Even if you are very careful, what starts with words can end up with physical aggression toward you or destroying things, especially things you value.

fOR MORE ON VERBAL ABUSE visit Marie Hartwell-Wlker, Ed.D

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